Should I go to community college?

My parents say I should go to community college and live at home because of coronavirus and courses moving online. But that's not what I'd planned! What should I do? I only have four years, and I won't get them back.

The question is probably not actually the struggle of wills between your parents and you. The bigger concern is: “What am I trying to accomplish and experience?” When you’re 17 or 18, four years of college represents a much larger chunk of your life than it will when you’re The Dad's age. Your parents are probably thinking that you have years and years to experience whatever it is that you’re trying to cram into those four years. First, The Dad would separate time in college from the actual experience of learning, and also the desire for autonomy.

Learning is lifelong process. There should be joy in wanting to know how things work. The Dad isn't certain that college can teach that if you aren't already a curious person, and in his experience, high school certainly didn't. But for The Dad, the hands-on experience of taking apart his tricycle, and then his bicycle, began a "cycle" of curiosity. The Dad remembers patiently waiting for the Daughters' preschool toy "See and Say" to die so that he could crack it open and see how it worked! There are opportunities to learn all around you. You can seek out information, take new jobs, meet new people, read books… if you adopt the attitude that college is just a two- or four-year investment in a whole lifetime of learning, it takes a little bit of pressure off of those four years.

The Dad suspects that part of your concern is missing out on the idea of a “college experience,” but here too, The Dad's experience tells him that college is not the only opportunity you might have to study subjects that interest you, stay up late, go to a lot of cultural events, or eat a remarkably poor diet. Those are just parts of what we consider "the college experience." Thanks to Craigslist, you can even live with a random stranger outside of a dorm situation. The Dad recommends getting a big yellow legal pad (because lists look better and feel more serious on a yellow legal pad) and making a list of the things that you think you're going to miss out on, and then carefully thinking through whether those things are only available to you during college. It's important to factor in that many of those things, fair or not, will not be available in many states due to COVID restrictions, at least for the indefinite future.

Once you’ve answered what it is you want to experience, and why, you’ll also have a better sense of how thought-out your college plan is. If it turns out that your college plan isn’t really much about formal education, but about independence, you may want to consider exploring other options, including going straight into the workforce, which is what The Dad did after his first semester (and what he had done during high school summers). This summer job led The Dad to understand how a house was formed step-by-step, and to learn the proper sequence. It didn't require college to learn how to build a house. And The Dad's career (which began as a job and became a career) began with curiosity: "How do you build a house?" There is a danger in not doing college right away-- adult obligations don't easily allow you to continue your education later-- but a lot of people are in college and not clear or honest about the reasons they are there. The cost and the time of college is significant enough that you should be certain of your motives and goals. If you're doing it because somebody told you that it was the only way to succeed, you may end up with a very expensive degree that isn't particularly helpful, and a whole lot of debt... but The Dad will have more to say about debt in a later post.

But if you do want the formal experience, particularly given COVID, which has greatly affected the “on-campus” college experience, community college for a year or two could be a great bet. This also gives you time to continue to assess what you want out of college once you've had a bit of experience. It's not unreasonable to take a path for a year or two that may not be permanent-- barring getting married and having children, or a few other paths, you can pivot and choose again after a year or two if you find that you have a better sense of what you want. COVID or not, it’s best to keep your options open and not fall into the line of thinking that college—particularly only if it’s at a certain institution—will be the best time of your life, or that it’s your only chance to learn and enjoy yourself.

And remember... as The Dad always says, no matter what happens, even if you don't have the college experience you thought you wanted and you are cheated out of dorm cafeteria food...even if all of those things happen and more, they can't eat you!

Not sure The Dad got it right this time? Have something to add? Comment below to let The Dad know!